Most frequent questions and answers
There are currently a number of sexual addiction recovery groups active in both South Alabama (South Baldwin County) and the Florida Panhandle (Escambia County). There are currently 6 active groups.
The Freedom Fight is what we are currently recommending as a first step in recovery. This course will teach you the basic terms and concepts you need to know and will get you started on a step-by-step process of recovery. This material is available for free in the format of your choice: Either a series of 30 daily emails or a more comprehensive 60 lesson program designed for small groups.
The Conquer Series is a set of 10 videos that gives men effective and practical tools to break their addiction to pornography. Meetings are held weekly in small groups consisting of 5-8 men. Please watch the Conquer Series trailer on SoulRefiner.com
When you join a small pornography addiction recovery group you can expect to find help and encouragement. You can expect honesty and a climate where you can bring your darkest secrets out into the light without being judged or rejected.
What is shared in a group meeting is strictly confidential and is NEVER shared or discussed with anyone outside your group.
Be aware that your agreement to be part of a small sexual addiction recovery group is a serious commitment and that it will require some hard work on your part and faithfulness to complete all assigned work.
Through small sexual addiction recovery groups men are given effective practical tools to fight and win the battle with pornography.
The Freedom Fight material is free of charge.
The Conquer Series. You will need to purchase the Conquer Series Journal and two study guides. The cost for these materials is $50.00.
You will also need Internet Accountability software on all your Internet connected devices. Plans are available ranging from $7 to $12 per month for an unlimited number of devices.
Sonja Brown is available by telephone to speak with women who have been wounded by their husband’s sexual addiction and need another woman to talk to.
Although not a professionally licensed counselor, Sonja has years of experience helping people, particularly in the area of women’s issues, and was a professional educator for most of her adult life. Please see our, “About US” page for Sonja’s contact information.
Sonja leads a Betrayal and Beyond group for women. Betrayal and Beyond is a resource developed by Pure Desire Ministries to help women who have been wounded by their husband’s sexual addiction.
Men, if you really want to help your wife we suggest watching the three part series, “Helping Her Heal” with Dr. Doug Weiss on YouTube.
The least expensive service we have experience with is Ever Accountable. Accountability software installed on all your Internet Connected devices is a must. Here is a link to their frequently asked questions page for additional information. You can also watch this brief trailer about their phone app for Android
Covenant Eyes is another great service but is slightly more expensive.
Greetings in the name of Jesus! This newsletter is a hard work for me for several reasons, but it is one that is long in coming, so it’s time for me to share my heart.
Back in the eighties, I was in the depths of an addiction to pornography, and even though I was a leader in my church, I couldn’t go to my pastor for fear that I would be thrown out of the church so I was forced to walk out my sobriety by myself. It was Christ that first set me free from cigarette smoking which lowered my “push back” to the gospel and I accepted Christ, and so it was my desperate prayer to Him that started me on a road to deliverance, and total recovery.
I walked out my new found freedom for a year, then had the courage to go before my pastor and “fess up”. As I shared my story, I saw tears well up in his eyes, and he told me that I needed to share my story, because he said “so many men have come to me as of late, and told me that they are dealing with this heinous addiction, but I don’t know what to tell them.” Long story short, his endorsement had me begin to travel with the message of freedom, and saw many men come forward to ask God’s forgiveness. I had a powerful testimony, but I lacked the “after the testimony”resources to help men stay sober long after the conference was over.
I am a man under authority and so stay close to men that I can trust will hold me accountable, and one of the pastors that I relate to suggested that I look at a program called Conquer Series, which is a DVD driven guide with a handbook and a Journal, helping men understand the addiction, and what it does to your brain. I have always disliked “programs”, but took the DVDs home and DIGESTED them over a period of four days, and I had the certainty that I could use the well produced program to help others beat the addiction. Know that I had been self employed for forty years, with seven distinctively different businesses, and thought that I had to pay closer attention to running my businesses, and had to back off of what I KNEW God was calling me into… this ministry of deliverance. I struggled with the call because of those businesses “that needed my attention” , and began to release the possibility of doing the ministry.
I have been plagued with the letting go of the ministry, and felt that God couldn’t use me again, until a dear brother challenged me with Romans 11:29 where it talks of the gifts and calling of God are “without repentance”. Without repentance means that God will not change His mind once He has called you to do what He has called you to do. This isn’t a WalMart hope that you can buy the flat screen on Saturday, watch the game and bring it back on Monday, when He calls you, He calls you. When my friend shared that with me, a lightbulb went off in my soul! I thought that my ministry days were over, but God thought otherwise.
Early in 2018, I went on a fast, looked in the mirror about two weeks in, and decided that I didn’t like the man looking back. I told God that “whatever it took”, I invited Him to make me the man of God that He wanted me to be. A dangerous request, but He rolled up his sleeves, and started to work me over. I would say that 2018 was the WORST year of my life, but it was by far the best, because God got me straightened me out and has redirected my attention to what is more important to him than my success in business. I did loose the final business and lots of money, but it’s all being turned around as I’m walking in the right direction as I see God using me to help drive this ministry.
The ministry “In His Grip” was actually birthed back in the 90s, and even without a program to help pastors minister to their men, the ministry saw hundreds of men acknowledge their secret sin of porn, and ask God’s forgiveness. Fast forward to today, I have conducted and led several cell group settings using the Conquer Series as my guide, and once a man goes through the series, he typically wants to facilitate a group himself. In recognizing the demand, I have begun training other men to lead groups, and THEY are recognizing men within their groups that have the mantel of leader on them, training them as well. Sad to say, but few pastors have a Lead man who will conduct a ministry like this, so I approach pastors with the fact that our ministry can provide a good facilitator to lead the men of that church. I have also recruited the help of a well versed “senior sis” who understands betrayal trauma, and is a phone call away for the wife of a man who has just gone “stupid” and acted out behind her back. The wives feel betrayed, and our senior sis is available to chat with these girls to keep them from “jumping off the bridge”
In my personal quest to get better at what I do, I’m spending some time with a psychologist, who actually sends me men who need our care, to better understand the mind and the addictive impact on the brain as well as reading everything that is written within the churches willingness to address the issue. In July I hope to go to a conference in Colorado Springs to attend a Conquer Series conference to train toward a counselors level 1 accreditation.
I am in touch with “Pure Desire” ministry in Oregon, producers of a non DVD program that our men are involved in after the Conquer Series, and will be hosting a conference here on the Gulf Coast in September. This has been a prayer of mine for over 6 months, and recently, I entered into a relationship with that ministry, and will use them and their talent to bring the deliverance from porn message to our area. I’m praying that pastors and men engaged in this addiction will come to hear what they can do to get help and bring help to the man in their churches. The ministry’s leadership team will then make themselves available to train men to do what we do, or…make themselves available to lead groups for the churches that don’t have a lead man. This all takes money, and I have never been good at asking for it, but I do need help. Having been in business for over forty years, I know that you can’t start a business without money, and sometimes you’ve got to take on partners to get the business open. I am asking you to become a part of this “business” of helping men come free from pornography, by investing in this ministry, as when we get “promoted” we’ll all share in the profits of the “business” whenever the men , wives, children, grands, all come and hug our necks to thank us for saving marriages on the rocks and reestablishing legacies for so many men who would have otherwise, gone over the precipice in their addictions.
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