Statistics from the Barna Report on Pornography Use in the Church

Clarion Call for Church Helpers

A Call to Confront the Realities of Today’s Pornography Problem

Taken from 2024 BARNA Report

The subjects of pornography or sexual betrayal bring up many assumptions, emotions and memories for people. Particularly in the Church, and especially church leaders, it can feel like a challenge to begin a conversation about pornography or unwanted sexual behavior in a way that is grounded and honest enough to be relevant and helpful.

These are issues that are both deeply personal and surprisingly universal, both shocking and commonplace. For these reasons, to teach about, counsel through, and research the problems of porn consumption requires gentleness and boldness tethered with compassion and discipline.

Pornography is a ubiquitous force, permeating our culture and shaping attitudes in more ways than many might imagine. What was once considered a fringe activity has become mainstream, fueled by the anonymity and accessibility of the internet. Porn consumption is no longer confined to a specific demographic or subculture; it touches all segments of society from young to old with no regard to gender, social status or religious beliefs. Alongside these changes, the pornography landscape has also transformed, giving rise to non-consensual acts like revenge porn, deepfakes enabled by AI and cybercrimes like sextortion. That’s why these statistics aren’t just a collection of data —it is a call to action.  

Barna, broached this topic once before in a 2016, study The Porn Phenomenon that revealed just how widely accepted viewing pornography had become in our culture. Among other findings, it highlighted the moral ambiguity surrounding pornography, with some respondents ranking “not recycling” as more immoral than viewing pornographic images. Likewise, very few people—including practicing Christians with a history of pornography use—had done much to successfuly break their habit in the past, or actively fight to break their current habit.

Since that study, society has undergone seismic cultural shifts, from the #MeToo# movement raising awareness about sexual misconduct to the COVID- pandemic driving much of the world’s daily life online. We’ve seen a loneliness epidemic like no other, as well as rising anxiety and depression, fueling a deep desire for connection and community. Living in todays Hyper-sexualized world has so many far reaching consequences now and in the days to come! There’s a need to focus on mental health, diversity, inclusion and more common questions and discussions about gender and gender norms, while the omnipresent nature of social media rapidly disseminates this information and the various narratives surrounding it.

With this changing landscape come important roles for the Church— To uphold a moral compass that’s being challenged by popular culture while we stay relevant, respond well, restore trust, and show we truly care. As society continually reckons with complex issues around sexuality, consent, and human dignity the Church faces a pressing need to engage thoughtfully and to present the Truth of Following Jesus in an over-sexualized world.

On many cultural topics, the Church does well. But when it comes to pornography, sexuality, and promiscuity, Pastors and Christian leaders often fall short in their response, providing inadequate support for those both struggling with and hurt by these topics and where they lead.

Since 2016, not much has changed about society’s porn problem. In fact, in this latest study, things have become worse. And there’s an even greater opportunity—and need—for the Church to respond.

Pastors and Christian leaders wanting to confront and address porn use will often need to consider not only the porn user but also the betrayed partner and other broken relationships as well.

Women on this difficult path to recovery who’ve had a partner regularly use porn will likely need targeted support that validates their feelings and provides tools for healing, while men with this experience may need to be challenged to understand the profound impact of porn use in general.

This information should challenge church leaders, Christian counselors, parents and others to recognize the corrosive effects pornography has on individuals, relationships and communities. It should inspire a sense of urgency and commitment to addressing the issue of pornography, offering practical strategies and actionable steps for those on the front lines of this battle, as well as encouragement for those who’ve been hiding in the shadows. The Church can be a beacon of hope for those struggling with pornography, those feeling betrayed by their partner’s porn use and those fighting alone to get and stay free.

In His Grip Ministries works with churches, ministries and other faith-based organizations wherever God leads and opens doors. We share the freedom found only in Christ to those struggling with sexual brokenness, which includes Christians finding freedom from same sex attraction and gender confusion.  

MAKING SENSE OF IT ALL: CONSIDERATIONS FOR PASTORS & CHRISTIAN LEADERS

When it comes to pornography use in marriage and relationships, Barna research shows that men tend to feel far less distressed, often even considering it a positive experience. In great contrast, porn use makes women feel more insecure, damages their self-esteem, undermines trust and can contribute to anxiety and depression. Men feel those markers of adverse emotion too, but in lower numbers. Furthermore, the wide disconnect between men and women on the effects of porn use in marriage can result in conflict and misunderstanding, as well as lasting pain that becomes increasingly difficult to reconcile. This data challenges the cultural narrative that pornography is a harmless, private aspect of modern sexuality.

THE CHURCH AS A SAFE PLACE

The Church has a profound opportunity to serve as a sanctuary of healing for those deeply impacted by the effects of pornography use. By cultivating a compassionate community, leaders can provide a safe haven where those struggling with and affected by porn use feel seen, valued and supported on their journey toward recovery. Though the Church hasn’t always gotten it right in its response to matters surrounding pornography and sexuality, today can mark the start of a new path forward. Here are five takeaways, developed with the help of our partners at Pure Desire Ministries, to remember as you point people toward the next step in a journey toward wholeness:

• Partner with experts. Don’t feel pressured to have all the answers; collaborate with organizations specializing in this area to provide expert support and resources. Pornography, sexuality, betrayal trauma, compulsive sexual behavior—these aren’t easy topics to navigate, and they’re likely out of the purview of an average pastor or church leader. Lean on partners to help you here, then focus on what you can do: talk about sexuality from a biblical lens, reminding congregants that we are all sexual beings, made by God and navigating a fallen world. Just as you disciple people on how to follow Christ relationally, financially and in their spiritual disciplines, so too can you disciple people to follow Christ in their sexuality.

• Prioritize education and awareness. Even with outside partners, it’s still important for leaders to get some basic training on addiction and betrayal trauma. Through this, you’ll gain a better understanding of the deeper issues people may be facing and what’s needed to help them fully heal and recover. Additionally, provide congregants with accurate information about the widespread impact and commonality of pornography. This might look like hosting workshops, inviting expert speakers or incorporating the topic into a sermon series.

• Create safe spaces for people to get real. Building trust is hard. It’s even harder when a church ignores the realities of guilt and shame or doesn’t promote a sense of safety for congregants at every level. Make space for individuals to seek help without fear of judgment. This might involve training pastoral staff in addiction counseling or partnering with specialized ministries that focus on sexual addiction recovery. Churches should strive to be the safest places for individuals to discuss their struggles with pornography openly. Emphasize grace and understanding rather than judgment.

• Lead by example. Encourage church leadership to model vulnerability and openness about their own struggles and journey toward sexual health—and endeavor to do the same. At the same time, listen with grace and empathy to the stories of those struggling and betrayed, allowing them to process their pain without judgment or condemnation. Acknowledge that this is a struggle that can affect anyone, regardless of their position or spiritual maturity.

• Remain consistent, for the long haul. Helping someone struggling with pornography or facing betrayal trauma is a long-term, often years-long process. With this comes the need for lasting support systems—and patience in the recovery journey. Understand that pornography use often stems from deeper issues like trauma, pain or unmet emotional needs. Focus on healing these root causes, not just changing one’s behavior. Offer resources that go beyond basic accountability, like curriculum-based recovery groups that address the “why” behind addictive behaviors like porn use.

Ultimately, the Church is meant to be a source of hope for people facing all sorts of challenges in life, including struggles with pornography. By addressing this issue head-on with care, understanding and practical support, churches can fulfill their role as places of healing and restoration. Even small steps toward openness and support can make a significant impact in the lives of those struggling.

For those who have been harmed by pornography use, community is critical to healing, both for the betrayed partner and the pornography user. As a source of spiritual, relational and social support, churches are poised to help connect people to relationships that can fortify a commitment to overcome porn usage.

Key Components to Successful Recovery

• Honesty: Being truthful with honorable intentions is foundational. This means individuals acknowledging the reality of addiction and being sincere in their desire to overcome it. Honesty dismantles the lies and secrecy that often accompany addiction, setting an environment where true healing can begin.

• Transparency: It is crucial to ensure that all actions are open and clear. Transparency involves sharing struggles, progress, and setbacks openly with trusted individuals or groups. This level of openness helps build trust and creates a supportive community that can offer guidance and encouragement

• Accountability: Having trustworthy individuals to walk alongside and share life with is vital. Accountability partners provide the necessary support, encouragement, and challenge needed to stay committed to the recovery process. They help in maintaining focus, setting boundaries and celebrating milestones, ensuring that the individual does not feel isolated in their journey

The Barna Group has conducted more than two million interviews over the course of thousands of studies, and has become a go-to source for insights about faith and culture, leadership, vocation, and generations. For 40 years, Barna Group has carefully and strategically tracked the role of faith in America, developing one of the nation’s most comprehensive databases of spiritual indicators. Here are some results from the 2024 Beyond the Porn Phenomenon Report.

Pornography use remains a growing problem.

Today, three in five U.S. adults, 61 percent, report viewing pornography, and half of those who use porn say “no one” knows. Additionally, 84 percent say they don’t have anyone in their life helping them avoid pornography.

Common assumptions about porn use are proving to be untrue. For example, while pornography use is more prevalent among men and non-Christians, a significant proportion of women and Christians also view pornography.

The ripple effects of pornography include a notable decline in mental health and well-being. 44 percent of U.S. adults believe “watching pornography has little impact on other aspects of an individual’s life.”

Men and women have drastically different experiences surrounding pornography use,  Men tend to have a more positive view of porn use and minimize its effects, while women generally see porn use and its effects as mostly negative. This calls for different recovery strategies.

Men (married or not) tend to downplay the consequences of regular porn use on their relationships, while women are more likely to recognize and be concerned about its potential negative effects.

Women are more likely to say pornography, “creates unrealistic expectations about real-life intimacy” (61% of women vs. 48% of men)  “creates tension between the person and their partner” (41% of women vs. 25% of men).

We asked those who’ve had a partner or spouse who regularly viewed porn to select from a list of responses explaining how this made them feel. Among the top responses, women in this group say they felt, “like my partner wasn’t attracted to me” (44% of women vs 11% of men in this group), “like there were unrealistic expectations put on me” (38% of women vs. 17% of men) and “an unhealthy comparison between myself and what’s shown in pornography” (38% of women vs. 16% of men).

Many of these women (38%) also say they felt “a decline in my self-esteem” (vs. 12% of men).  The data also revealed feelings of distrust and uncertainty associated with betrayal trauma.  Women reported feeling: “unsure if our relationship was healthy” (32% of women vs. 15% of men)  “like my partner didn’t care about me” (31% of women vs. 10% of men)  “like I couldn’t trust my partner” (30% of women vs. 13% of men)

Perhaps more telling, women who had a partner or spouse who regularly viewed porn are three times more likely than men with the same experience to go as far as to say this made them feel,  “like my partner has betrayed me” (27% of women vs. 9% of men).

Despite being given 14 diverse response options to choose from, a startling 44 percent of men who’ve had a spouse or partner regularly view pornography chose “none of the above” when asked to describe their feelings about this behavior. This widespread lack of resonance suggests a profound emotional disconnect or indifference regarding their partner’s pornography habits.  These damaging emotions and betrayals can linger and take time to heal.

Women who had a partner who regularly viewed porn,

(46%) say they have fully recovered from the effects of this (vs. 59% of men who’s partner regularly viewed porn).

The remainder of these women seem to still be working through this experience in some fashion

21% have somewhat recovered,

12% are somewhat still healing,

13% are still healing and

8% are unsure

Sociologist Sam Perry conducted a study titled “Till Porn Do Us Part?” to determine how starting porn use affected people’s marriages, his findings:

“Beginning pornography use nearly doubled one’s likelihood of being divorced by the next survey period, from 6 to 11 percent, and nearly tripled it for women, from 6 to 16 percent.” Walking alongside those on this journey requires patience, understanding and a commitment to see both spouses—not just the one using porn—as deserving of care and healing.

While those numbers are bad enough. Let’s focus a little more closely within our own walls!

Many Christians also hold conflicting beliefs about pornography.  62 percent, over 3 in 5 Christians, agree a person can regularly view pornography and live a sexually healthy life.

2024 Practicing Christian Porn Use:  For the purposes of the following survey, practicing Christians were defined as all three of the following… 1. Self identify as a Christian  2. Strongly agree that their faith is very important to them, 3. Attend Church regularly

78% of practicing Christian men watch porn         

• 83% of Gen Z (18-27) men watch porn          

• 91% of Millennial (28-43) men watch porn          

• Almost 9 out of 10 practicing Christian Gen Z and Millennial men watch porn      

• Half of them watch it daily, weekly or more often          

• 49% are comfortable with the amount of porn they use         

• 21% want to consume less (but some is ok)  

34% of practicing Christian women watch porn         

• 73% of Gen Z (18-27) women watch porn            

• 67% of Millennial (28-43) women watch porn

Only 21% of practicing Christians who watch porn want to quit completely

Nearly 9 in 10 youth leaders, 89%, wished teens were taught about sexual health and behaviors by a parent, However, 7 in 10, 69% each, believe “friends” and “social media” have the biggest influence on what young people learn about sex today. 

While many churches may not be running specific programs to help porn users,

Many congregants want their church to address pornography. Only 10 percent of Christians and churched adults say their church offers programs to help those struggling with porn. While, 58 percent, say it’s important that their church address topics of pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.

75 percent of U.S. pastors say they are individually ministering to those who struggle with porn.  They indicate that of those who’ve sought help from them, 51 percent, are married men.  

67 percent of pastors, have a personal history of porn use, with 18 percent, saying this is a current struggle. Additionally, an overwhelming majority of pastors, 86 percent, feel porn use is common among Christian pastors.

Living in todays Hyper-sexualized world has so many far reaching consequences now and in the days to come! There’s a need to focus on mental health, diversity, inclusion and more common questions and discussions about gender and gender norms. Currently 1 in 4 young adults believe that AI partners have the potential to replace real-life romantic relationships. Meanwhile, the omnipresent nature of social media is rapidly disseminating their ideas and the various narratives surrounding it.

With this changing landscape come important roles for the Church— To uphold a moral compass that’s being challenged by popular culture, while we stay relevant, respond well, restore trust, and show we truly care. As society continually reckons with complex issues around sexuality, consent and human dignity, the Church faces a pressing need to engage thoughtfully and to present the Truth of Following Jesus Christ in an over-sexualized world. On many cultural topics, the Church does well. But when it comes to pornography, sexuality, and promiscuity, Pastors and Christian leaders often fall short in their response, providing inadequate support for those both struggling with and hurt by these topics and where they lead. In His Grip Ministries works with churches, schools, ministries and other faith-based organizations wherever God leads and opens doors. We share the freedom found only in Christ to those struggling with sexual brokenness, which includes Christians finding freedom from same sex attraction and gender confusion.

HELPING THE CHURCH RECOGNIZE BETRAYAL TRAUMA

“I can’t understand how he can do this when he knows it hurts me so terribly. Sometimes it seems like he doesn’t have much, if any, empathy for me. … Sometimes it seems like he doesn’t even know I’m alive.” This heart-wrenching admission was made in an April 2024 Reddit post titled “Brokenhearted from my husband’s porn addiction.” Shared anonymously within the Christian marriage subforum, these words convey the deep hurt a spouse can feel after discovering their partner is watching porn. The term for this pain and its devastating after effects is called “betrayal trauma”—a byproduct of pornography that our partner, Pure Desire Ministries, describes as an often overlooked and mishandled issue within the Church. Coined in the 1990s by psychologist and researcher Jennifer Freyd, betrayal trauma occurs when “the people or institutions on which a person depends for survival significantly violate that person’s trust or well-being.” This can look like abuse or domestic violence, as well as infidelity, secretive behavior and other hurtful acts by a trusted individual. In Barna’s research, we see just how crucial it is for church leaders to better understand betrayal trauma and pornography use within their congregations. While society highlights the lasting influences of pornography on both married and unmarried individuals, it also underscores the often-silent ways porn violates the sacred covenant of marriage or marriage-bound relationships and can inflict severe emotional, psychological and spiritual wounds.

Betrayal trauma is one clear way for church leaders to understand the detrimental effects of porn. That’s why we’re here to define and emphasize this experience. Watching pornography may lead to broken trust and emotional trauma within marriages that, if unaddressed, can destroy the bond between spouses and, ultimately, among the family unit.

Faith community can be a place where betrayed spouses are reminded how God “rescues those whose spirits are crushed” (Psalm 34:18, NLT). However, without recognizing the very real devastation of this trauma, church leaders risk mishandling the pain these individuals experience, leaving them feeling more hurt, unheard and invalidated. As you navigate and consider how you might respond, keep in mind it’s not enough to provide help and support only for those who are struggling with pornography. Pornography use is an everyday reality with far-reaching impact that also affects loved ones and the well-being of others who are close to a porn user. Confronting today’s porn phenomenon means acknowledging the problem and understanding what it takes to promote healing, together.

When a spouse is using porn, they often become emotionally disconnected from their family. This disconnection can manifest as a false sense of connection or complete avoidance of family members. The rest of the family, unaware of the actual cause, may internalize this disconnection, believing something is wrong with them or that they are unworthy of the spouse, childs or parent’s love and attention. This cycle of shame and disconnection can then perpetuate itself, making other family members more susceptible to hiding their own struggles [and continuing] the cycle of shame. —JACKIE CHAMBERS

Porn Use Through the Lens of Betrayal Trauma.  Over three in five U.S. adults (68%) disagree at least somewhat with the statement “watching porn has no impact on an individual’s marriage” (the other 32% agree at least somewhat). Men tend to disagree with this statement as well (62%) but at a lesser rate than women (74%). Barna didn’t specify in this question whether the impact on an individual’s marriage is negative or positive. Combined with other data, though, we see that the divide in attitudes toward a partner’s pornography use extends to perceptions of its relational impact: Men (married or not) tend to downplay the consequences of regular porn use on their relationships, while women are more likely to recognize and be concerned about its potential negative effects.

Women are 13 points more likely to say pornography “creates unrealistic expectations about real-life intimacy” (61% of women vs. 48% of men) and 16 points more likely to say it “creates tension between the person and their partner” (41% of women vs. 25% of men). To get closer to understanding the feelings a person might experience when a partner uses pornography, Barna asked those who’ve had a partner or spouse who regularly viewed porn to select from a list of responses explaining how this made them feel. Among the top responses, women in this group say they felt “like my partner wasn’t attracted to me” (44% vs 11% of men in this group), “like there were unrealistic expectations put on me” (38% vs. 17% of men) and “an unhealthy comparison between myself and what’s shown in pornography” (38% vs. 16% of men). Many of these women (38%) also say they felt “a decline in my self-esteem” (vs. 12% of men). Additionally, the data reveals some of the feelings of distrust and uncertainty that are associated with betrayal trauma. Nearly a third of these women reported feeling “unsure if our relationship was healthy” (32% vs. 15% of men), “like my partner didn’t care about me” (31% vs. 10% of men) and “like I couldn’t trust my partner” (30% vs. 13% of men). Perhaps more telling—women who have had a partner or spouse who regularly viewed porn are three times more likely than men with the same experience to go as far as to say this made them feel “like my partner has betrayed me” (27% of women vs. 9% of men). Despite being given 14 diverse response options to choose from, a startling 44 percent of men who’ve had a spouse or partner regularly view pornography chose “none of the above” when asked to describe their feelings about this behavior. This widespread lack of resonance suggests a profound emotional disconnect or indifference regarding their partner’s pornography habits.

Far from short-term, these damaging emotions and betrayals can linger and take time to heal. Just under half of women who had a partner or spouse who regularly viewed porn (46%) say they have fully recovered from the effects of this (vs. 59% of men). The remainder of these women seem to still be working through this experience in some fashion (21% have somewhat recovered, 12% are somewhat still healing, 13% are still healing and 8% are unsure). This data underscores a troubling reality: The emotional wounds inflicted by a partner’s regular porn use are not only more severe for women but also have a longer-lasting impact. What might this mean for the couples you encounter or perhaps even counsel?

Sociologist Sam Perry conducted a study titled “Till Porn Do Us Part?” to determine how starting porn use affected people’s marriages. In an interview, he summarizes his findings: “Beginning pornography use between survey waves nearly doubled one’s likelihood of being divorced by the next survey period, from 6 percent to 11 percent, and nearly tripled it for women, from 6 percent to 16 percent.” Barna data also points to the negative consequences porn use can have on marriage and relationships. Walking alongside those on this journey requires patience, understanding and a commitment to see both spouses—not just the one using porn—as deserving of care and healing.

FROM HURTING TO HEALING (& HELPING OTHERS)

Advice to Betrayed Spouses: Jackie Chambers: As a betrayed partner and a betrayal trauma coach, I’ve seen firsthand how we often feel it is our responsibility to help our spouse by being their accountability partner. Sometimes, even the Christian community reinforces this by suggesting that our involvement will prevent our spouse from acting out.

However, this dynamic often provides a false sense of security and keeps us in a state of hypervigilance, constantly scanning for threats.

We may be unaware of the negative mental, physical and emotional toll this takes on us. Constant hypervigilance impairs our ability to make rational decisions and increases our susceptibility to stress-related illnesses.

This heightened state can also lead to extreme emotional reactions, such as angry outbursts or numbness, making it difficult to cope with daily life. Meanwhile, our spouses may feel imprisoned as every action and word is scrutinized. Trying to keep our spouse from acting out does not heal either of us; it merely delays the inevitable eruption of unresolved issues.

Here are some ways to support a spouse in recovery:

• Prioritize your own healing first. Betrayal trauma is deeply impactful, and addressing our trauma is crucial. Imagine trying to help someone who broke their leg in an accident while you are also suffering from multiple injuries. Your first responsibility is to yourself. It is the same in this recovery process.

• Set and uphold boundaries while also understanding your own emotional triggers. This self-awareness allows you to respond to your spouse in a healthy way and manage your reactions.

• Share ways your spouse can help you feel safe. Invite them to have weekly check-ins to share their progress in recovery. Have open, honest communication to understand each other’s needs and progress.

• Encourage the work they are doing and celebrate accomplished milestones. This helps motivate continued effort and improvement. Educating yourself about sex addiction also helps in understanding your spouse’s struggles and enables you to offer informed support.

At A Glance-Pornography use 2024 BARNA

61% of U.S. adults report viewing pornography

Pornography use remains a growing problem.

Today, three in five U.S. adults, 61 percent, report viewing pornography, and half of those who use porn say that “no one” knows.

Additionally, 84 percent of reported porn users say they don’t have anyone in their life helping them avoid pornography.

Common assumptions about porn use are proving to be untrue. For example, while pornography use is more prevalent among men and non-Christians, a significant proportion of women and Christians also view pornography.

The ripple effects of pornography include a notable decline in mental health and well-being. Meanwhile, 44 percent of U.S. adults believe “watching pornography has little impact on the other aspects of an individual’s life.”

Men and women have drastically different experiences surrounding pornography use, which calls for different recovery strategies. Men tend to have a more positive view of porn use and minimize its effects, while women generally see porn use and its effects as mostly negative.

Many Christians also hold conflicting beliefs about pornography. Over three in five Christians, 62 percent, tell Barna they agree a person can regularly view pornography and live a sexually healthy life.

Many congregants want their church to address pornography. Only 10 percent of U.S. Christians and churched adults say their church offers programming to help those struggling with pornography. Meanwhile, over half, 58 percent, say it’s important to them that their church is addressing topics of pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.While many churches may not be running specific programs to help porn users, 75 percent of U.S. pastors say they are individually ministering to those who struggle with porn. They indicate that half of those who’ve sought help from them, 51 percent, are married men.

Two-thirds of pastors, 67 percent, have a personal history of porn use, with almost one in five, 18 percent, saying this is a current struggle. Additionally, an overwhelming majority of pastors, 86 percent, feel porn use is common among Christian pastors.

Nearly nine in 10 youth leaders, 89 percent, say they wish teens were taught about sexual health and behaviors by a parent, however, seven in ten, 69 percent each, believe “friends” and “social media” have the biggest influence on what young people learn about sex today.

According to a new Institute for Family Studies survey of 2,000 adults under age 40,

1% of young Americans claim to already have an AI friend.

10% are open to an AI friendship.

And among young adults who are not married or cohabiting,

7% are open to the idea of romantic partnership with AI.

25% of young adults believe that AI has the potential to replace real-life romantic relationship

Men (married or not) tend to downplay the consequences of regular porn use on their relationships, while women are more likely to recognize and be concerned about its potential negative effects.  

Women are more likely to say pornography “creates unrealistic expectations about real-life intimacy” (61% of women vs. 48% of men) “creates tension between the person and their partner” (41% of women vs. 25% of men).

Barna asked those who’ve had a partner or spouse who regularly viewed porn to select from a list of responses explaining how this made them feel. Among the top responses, women in this group say they felt

“like my partner wasn’t attracted to me” (44% vs 11% of men in this group),

“like there were unrealistic expectations put on me” (38% vs. 17% of men) and

“an unhealthy comparison between myself and what’s shown in pornography” (38% vs. 16% of men).

Many of these women (38%) also say they felt “a decline in my self-esteem” (vs. 12% of men).

Additionally, the data reveals the feelings of distrust and uncertainty associated with betrayal trauma. Women also reported feeling: “unsure if our relationship was healthy” (32% vs. 15% of men), “like my partner didn’t care about me” (31% vs. 10% of men) and “like I couldn’t trust my partner” (30% vs. 13% of men).

Perhaps more telling—women who have had a partner or spouse who regularly viewed porn are three times more likely than men with the same experience to go as far as to say this made them feel “like my partner has betrayed me” (27% of women vs. 9% of men).

Despite being given 14 diverse response options to choose from, a startling 44 percent of men who’ve had a spouse or partner regularly view pornography chose “none of the above” when asked to describe their feelings about this behavior. This widespread lack of resonance suggests a profound emotional disconnect or indifference regarding their partner’s pornography habits.

These damaging emotions and betrayals can linger and take time to heal. Women who had a partner who regularly viewed porn (46%) say they have fully recovered from the effects of this (vs. 59% of men who had a partner who regularly viewed porn). The remainder of these women seem to still be working through this experience in some fashion (21% have somewhat recovered, 12% are somewhat still healing, 13% are still healing and 8% are unsure). Sociologist Sam Perry conducted a study titled “Till Porn Do Us Part?” to determine how starting porn use affected people’s marriages his findings: “Beginning pornography use nearly doubled one’s likelihood of being divorced by the next survey period, from 6 percent to 11 percent, and nearly tripled it for women, from 6 percent to 16 percent.” Walking alongside those on this journey requires patience, understanding and a commitment to see both spouses—not just the one using porn—as deserving of care and healing.

Living in todays Hyper-sexualized world has so many far reaching consequences now and in the days to come! There’s a need to focus on mental health, diversity, inclusion and more common questions and discussions about gender and gender norms. Meanwhile, the omnipresent nature of social media has rapidly disseminated this information and the various narratives surrounding it. With this changing landscape come important roles for the Church— To uphold a moral compass that’s being challenged by popular culture while we stay relevant, respond well, restore trust, and show we truly care. As society continually reckons with complex issues around sexuality, consent and human dignity, the Church faces a pressing need to engage thoughtfully and to present the Truth of Following Jesus in an over-sexualized world. On many cultural topics, the Church does well. But when it comes to pornography, sexuality, and promiscuity, Pastors and Christian leaders often fall short in their response, providing inadequate support for those both struggling with and hurt by these topics and where they lead. In His Grip Ministries works with churches, ministries and other faith-based organizations wherever God leads and opens doors. We share the freedom found only in Christ to those struggling with sexual brokenness, which includes Christians finding freedom from same sex attraction and gender confusion.